Seasonal...

Seasonal Friends....

primary school we got primary school friends....secondary school got secondary school friends....n it goes on to uni.....now for me....I just realised i'm slowly drifting apart from those uni frens i know...i did try my part to organize movies n stuffs to prevent the drifting...but it look likes friends are seasonal after all...no matter how hard one could try....people grow apart...

=/

Naive..

I'm born in a family of 5....father, mother and 2 sisters..I guess tht....since i nvr had a brother in my life...I kinda took friends around me whom are kinda "close" to me as brothers lol..brothers whom u know tht always be your side no matter the situation...

Now i just realise how naive was I at coming to a conclusion like tht lols...

Time for a change..

By change....i mean i plan to get a lala hairstyle this thursday lols...

hahahahhahaa...actually just wanna get a new change lar..not necessarily lala...lols

To be continued...=P

Weird feeling...

Got this sudden weird feeling tht things are gonna take a better turn.....

suddenly feel a bit happy while working...

I think i'm going crazy lol XD

Just never ends..

I dunno if i'm the only one feeling this but....I always felt tht i havent put enough effort into this or tht...or I could have done it better in some ways....Feels so demanding of myself..in a way it shows tht i'm not even confident in my own capabilities...nvr once hav i felt..."Hey this is good enough..I done my best" =/

Its kind of weird tht...we always think tht our current mentality is sufficient or "perfect"...but if we ever choose to think further...we realised that we're actually many steps behind others or wat we aspire to be =/

These days I'm always thinking..how can i change myself to be better...n if i ever figure tht part out...from where do i find the drive to make tht change in myself...these simple questions (tht I should hav figured out long ago..) yet important to who i'm gonna become...

Always feel tht something is missing....always n always....really do hope someone could convince me tht nothing is missing...lol

Less like a Robot...

Haha ever since i started goin back college medan for cheap lunch....I feel so human again...having the usual lunch with uni gang XD...so much lessss like a robot =P

Eating with my colleagues is fun n all but.....they have expensive taste weih....each meal more than RM10 confirm...sometimes RM20...my wallet oso can cry lo =____=

but but now tht i starting to go back medan.....Phrases like "Sei kau pun"...."Lima setengah" are like music to my ears XD

yes i'm cheapskate i know...but hey...it sure aint easy surviving on own salary weih...wan buy new stuffs oso will think twice now....but it sure feels awesome having lunch with my lecturers n frens =D

Working

Working....surprisingly i wasn't thinking bout the salary i can make from working all these while...I've been thinking a lot lately bout something much more important..

Ive been thinking very hardly bout "What I want"

Kinda sad eh tht even up until know i cant figure out the answer to tht =/
Is it because there's too many options around?...Is it because I've been letting things go its natural way too much?...Is it because I always think tht anything is ok for me?...Or is it just because I dun wan to make a decision myself?.....

Its even funny though thinking back how this issue sparked to my senses....It was while we're having lunch with our Group Exco...Dato Chew (an amazing person =)) just threw tht simple question acros the table at us...n at tht moment...I askedmyself..."Why da hell i nvr even bothered to stop n ask myself tht b4"...It was an awkward situation...then he continued on saying "Its ok (smiling) I just want u all to start thinking bout this"...

The question of "what I want" is just so...bothering lols...but yet...its necessary to really think thru bout it...I've been going on with "Anything la i guess" mentality for a bit too long lol...Shud really start making demands of myself lols..

Loss of me indeed =/

*woo finally updated xD